Into the Unknown

As I enter into my senior year of college, (that’s right, I’m going to be a senior in college…umm, how did that happen?) I find myself super excited but also incredibly terrified. Senior year holds a lot of lasts, countless goodbyes, and many thoughts buzzing in my mind regarding what the future holds. What is it exactly that I want to do? Am I ready to take on the “real” world? Will I make a difference?

I mean, I have a plan. I will graduate from College of the Ozarks in May with a degree in Speech Communication. From there, I will go to graduate school at Arizona State, get a Masters degree in Speech-Language Pathology, and become a licensed Speech Therapist. I am going to work at S.E.E.K. (Specializing in the Education of Exceptional Kids) Arizona as a Speech Therapist. S.E.E.K Arizona provides behavioral health services, professional therapies, and direct care supports to both children and adults with developmental and behavioral disabilities, specializing in those on the autism spectrum. I would be working one on one with kids who have developmental disabilities (basically my dream come true) to help them become confident in their abilities. This job combines my love for speech, knowledge of sign language, fascination with words and the English language, preference of one on one interaction, passion for helping others, and experience with (and adoration for) people who have developmental disabilities all into one career.

Sure, I have a plan, and it’s a pretty great one if you ask me. It brings me so much joy and excitement imagining this plan playing out; and it makes me sad to think of this not being my future, so it makes sense to pursue it. But… if I know one thing about my life, it’s always unexpected. Rachel Wolchin put it best when she said, “My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn’t go as planned and that’s okay.”

I can dream a million dreams and make a million plans but at the end of the day, the Lord will direct my steps where He sees fit. While sometimes (well, most of the time) I don’t understand His ways or leading, I constantly remind myself to trust Him. So far, although my life hasn’t turned out as I expected, God has remained faithful and His leading has always made sense eventually. In every move my family has made, through every moment of wondering if we’d have enough money to make it through the month, during every unexpected and scary medical issue with various family members, God has been there, in control, with a plan, never once neglecting or forgetting about little me.

So, when I think about my future, about all the twists and turns ahead, all the bumps in the journey before me, and all the unknowns I have yet to face, I find myself looking back. Looking back at the road of life I have traveled so far and noticing that I have never walked alone. God has been there every step of the way and He has always proven faithful. He has never given me a reason to doubt His plans, no matter how bizarre they may appear.

In the end, looking into a future full of uncertainty, I can be sure of one thing – although I may not know what all my future holds, my God knows.

And that’s all I have to know.

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